Is Sam Jackson still cool?...Really?

So i went to see Ironman last night at the Arclight.
At this theater, they have a dude come out and introduce the film and he says, "Stick around after the credits for a special surprise."
So the movie plays and its totally awesome, Downey Jr. is awesome, the effects are awesome, the music and editing are awesome, I'm very pleased.
So we decide to stay through the credits for the surprise and ***spoiler alert*** Tony Stark come into his house and a mysterious figure is in his room. The figure speaks in that obvious bored Sam Jackson tone and I think to myself, shit, Mace Windou is going to challenge Tony Stark to a fight so all the nerds flip out.
Well, it turns out hes not his Star Wars character but he's Nick Fury from S.H.I.E.L.D. and wants to talk about the Avengers.
So now I'm torn.
An Avengers set up for Iron Man 2. Awesome. Love the Avengers. Loved the Iron Man movie. Great.
Of course the bad part, Sam Jackson's gonna be all over that flick.
I remember when he became cool, after Pulp Fiction, a long time ago.
He hasn't been good since. An obvious case of Sigorney Weaver disease.
I ask my wife, " Why, why Sam Jackson? Why do they have to ruin it with him?"
She replies, "I don't know. Cool factor?"
And she's right. For some reason people still think he's cool.
Witness the MTV Awards and the Spike awards and how he's in every goddamn movie playing that same bored, i guess coll guy, with the crazed stare and the wily saunter.
I'm tired of it.
Please Jon Favreau, please Stan Lee, lets go with someone else, please.
Its been done before, Harrsion Ford took over for Alec Baldwin in those Tom Clancy movies, all the Batmans, there precedence.
For me.
Thanks.

Savior of the Universe

Thank Goodness.
Thanks Goodness for Don Mays.
What, you don't know who Don Mays is?
He's only the most responsible man in the world and he's making it better for you by calling out some of the scofflaws that are trying to drag you and your children down.
Who has the great Don Mays called out?
The devil himself, Billy Ray Cyrus, and his demon seed Miley.
These two indigents were seen by the ever vigilant Mr. Mays, or one of his crack staff, riding in the backseat of a range rover in a scene in the hit film, "Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert."
I know, scandalous.
Luckily, Don, the director of product safety over there at the Consumer Reports magazine has made us all aware of this insidious incident in the pages of that fine magazine.
In response, Mr. Achy Breaky Heart issued this statement:

"We got caught up in the moment of filming, and we made a mistake and forgot to buckle our seat belts. Seat belt safety is extremely important."

Damn straight Billy Ray. Damn straight.
And thank you again Mr. Don May, your Congressional Medal of Honor is in the mail

2008 is the new 1999

Although it is a new year, it sure feels like an old year as far as one of the "big" news stories.
Remember back in 1999, when an awesome movie called "The Blair Witch Project"came out. The first week was talk of the "the little indie that could" and box office receipts, then starting in week 2, every news organization started running stories about how the movie was making people sick and those with weak stomach should stay away, not from the scares but the camerawork. (It was shaky and handheld)
Look what i found in the Boston GLobe.
and Fox News reported it too...
Don't worry, the Philadelphia Inquirer warned their readers of it too.
The new scourge of the movie going world and purveyor of endless warnings from our media protectors is of course "Cloverfield".
From the Globe article:

Erika Hasegawa, 32, was watching "Cloverfield" at a theater in the Los Angeles-area community of Alhambra Tuesday night but had to leave in the middle of the film.
"I'm really nauseous right now - just hold on for a second," she said, before walking down the hall and retching in a trash can.
"I wish I could get my money back," she said.

Really.
Did you see the trailer before you trekked out to the movie.
Did you see the shaky camera work in the commercial.
Are you a pussy?
Oh wait, some experts chimed in, also in the Globe article:

Some experts were not surprised, given the film's use of hand-held cameras that were jerked around to boost suspense....Experts suggest those who feel motion sickness try to stare at a fixed point that doesn't appear to move, such as the head of someone sitting in front of you in a theater or at a nearby seat. Dramamine, a medication taken to relieve nausea, might also help.

Awesome.
Can I get a large Sprite and a medium popcorn, with Dramamine.

A minute of reason within the warnings, again from the Globe article:

Some movie chains stressed that the vast majority of viewers felt fine watching the movie.

But to make sure that no pussies are hurt during the movie:

Nonetheless, Kansas City-based AMC Theatres placed caution signs in hundreds of its theaters nationwide warning about possible motion sickness issues.

But I think what bothers me so much in this further evidence of the pussification of America is that when filmmakers and musicians and artists go even the slightest outside of the norm, we must be warned. Further, what concerns me even more is that I haven't been warned about the shaky videos posted by shitheads on YouTube. There is all kinds of handheld, shaky cam, poorly lit media all over this site and not a single warning to take Dramamine before hand.

You guys are slipping.

And to take this even further, how many of the people who complained about being nauseated by this movie have posted crap on YouTube shot without a tripod. How many have submitted videos of their friends riding a skateboard with a jittery lensing up until that moment they jam their nuts on a pole and the camera violently rocks away and then we see them running.

You guys are the ones I want my money back from.

Stuff of the Year 2007

Movie of the Year:
No Country For Old Men
Hon Mention:
Eastern Promises

TV Show of the Year:
The Wire
Hon. Mention:
The Shield
How I Met Your Mother

Album of the Year:
Weekend in the City: Bloc Party
Hon. Mention:
Four on the Floor: Juliette and the Licks
Black and White Album: The Hives

Most Annoying Word of the Year:
Thrive (stop it everyone, especially in your advertising)

Best Soundbite of the Year:
"Don't Tase Me Bro"

Worst Dude of the Year:
The "Don't Tase Me Bro" Guy

Pop Song of the Year:
Nominees:
Tambourine: Eve
U + UR Hand: Pink
I Still Remember: Bloc Party
Coffee Shop: Yung Joc
Never Again: Kelly Clarkson

Winner:
I Still Remember: Bloc Party

A Message to Retailers

Tuesday is a great day.
It's the day all the new release CDs and DVDs come out.
Most Tuesdays I make a trip to Circuit City to buy said the aforementioned CDs and DVDs that interest me that I have seen in the Sunday circular available to everyone on the internet.
But there's a problem...
A big one...
One that caused me to stop going to Best Buy (of course this was in conjunction with other problems at Best Buy including the crap ass staff and management)...
For some reason, they never have all of the new release product out on the floor and no one who works there seems to know where it is.
I can understand if it was some obscure title that wasn't advertised, but if it is in the circular, you gotta get that shit on the floor by opening time.
Last Tuesday, I wanted the latest Entourage series DVD and I went in the store at 6:30 PM. That's 8 1/2 hours after they opened by the way, and it wasn't on the floor. The fourth person I asked about it finally got it to me but I was on the precipice of banning Circuit City for the offense.
When I worked at Tower Records (ahh, good times), we spent Monday night after closing putting out all the new releases on the shelf so they would be there when the kids came in in the morning. This is how it should be, but if not, do it first thing, so noon is the latest they should be out.
And I don't want the "They didn't come in until today excuse" This is not valid. I know it does happen, but I also know the boxes that new release product is in is marked with big stickers and i know the receiving clerk knows this and can get those in first so you can then quickly get them to the shelves.
It one of those things that if this continues, amazon is only a click away and it just comes to my house with no hassles.
This might be one more reason Circuit City is in the toilet and close to closing. Forget all the other market analysis and corporate mumbo jumbo, GET YOUR PRODUCT ON THE FLOOR AND THEN I CAN BUY IT!
And put it in a place I can find it too, like a rack at the front of the store marked "This Weeks New Releases".
Thanks and I'll see you on Tuesday.

Stop with the Britney Already

six.
twenty-five.
That's how many reports I heard about Britney Spears in the amount of minutes it took me to get home last night.
6 reports about Britney Spears losing her kids in a twenty-five minute span on the Access Hollywood channel? The Insider Channel? No, the AM all-news radio channel.
No idea what's going on in Iraq or Afghanistan, only one report about stocks reaching their all-time high, no information on how safe or not safe my new community is.
Awesome.
Thanks guys.
I know I've said this before, but why is everyone still wondering why people aren't paying attention to current events or getting their news from traditional sources.
Is it because the radio waves are saturated with this crap that means nothing to me? It's fine, report it once, but I don't need to hear any analysts talking about what this means for Britney or what her friends think about it.
Really, can you tell me something that might actually affect my life or help me know more about the "real" world going on around me?
I also don't care if she is wearing underwear or not or what kind of water she drank after the VMA's.
For once I agree with Kanye West....except for the whole buy "Graduation" thing. That's stupid too.

Hello L.A.

So we just moved to Los Angeles, where the sun shines, the people are friendly and gas is a little cheaper. There is one thing I've noticed though which may drive me over the edge.
The local news here is even more infuriating that it was in San Francisco.
No I haven't seen any LA Area reactions to every story, which is nice, and there's no Gary Radnich but...
The entertainment reports go one for ever here, and it isn't like deals or insider stuff, it is all form the land of Access Hollywood and the like.
Endless reports on Britney at the VMA's and Celebrity Breakups and lead stories about the Phil Spector trial, which I had forgotten was even going on. Yes, daily updates from the Phil Spector trial at the top of the newscast when the story is, testimony resumed...
Also, the All News radio station here is filled with anchors who are "outraged" over nearly every story when they are interviewing people familiar with the story. Hey guys, save the opinions and let the man talk, of course you think its horrible the Air Force flew some nukes over the country, no need to spend time telling me about it.
Overall, I think the move down here will be a good one and I will have a lot of fun, there's just a lot more CNN Headline News in my future.