The Twizzlers Bay Bridge
Right now, the Bay Bridge, which connects San Francisco and Oakland here in Northern California, is in the middle of an endless retrofitting project. The project is designed to keep the bridge from falling down if there's another earthquake like it did back in '89. This means, half the span is being rebuilt and the rest is being shored up. It costs a lot of money.
The new span is costing something like 1.8 billion and I can only imagine the rest. How is being paid for? Increased bridge tolls, bonds sales, blah blah.
How should we pay for it?
THE TWIZZLERS BAY BRIDGE! or THE MOUNTAIN DEW SPAN! or THE YAHOO! BAY SKYWAY!
I don't care, some company would surely pay big bucks to get naming rights to the bridge. While we're at it, let's put up billboards along the whole roadway, there's no real view of the thing anyway and I need to know about the latest Chrysler Sedan and who's playing at the Reno Flamingo this weekend.
This surely beats paying more money to ride across that coned off monstrosity.
Of course, the kids I'm sure will be against the creepy crawly American corporate spirit. I remember when they were talking about helping to pay for the Oakland Airport upgrades by selling billboards along the entry road there and every jerkoff they let on the news that night were "offended by the thought of HAVING TO READ THOSE ADS" and wonder "Where will the COMMERCIALISM END? IT ENDS RIGHT HERE." Meanwhile, these same kids can't figure out why they have to raise the tolls on the bridge. OH MY GOD $4! Why doesn't the bridge just fix itself? Why do we have to pay for it?
You don't!
Start taking naming rights on the bridge now Caltrans! And who knows, maybe the JUICY FRUIT BAY BRIDGE will give out free samples at those toll booths.
The new span is costing something like 1.8 billion and I can only imagine the rest. How is being paid for? Increased bridge tolls, bonds sales, blah blah.
How should we pay for it?
THE TWIZZLERS BAY BRIDGE! or THE MOUNTAIN DEW SPAN! or THE YAHOO! BAY SKYWAY!
I don't care, some company would surely pay big bucks to get naming rights to the bridge. While we're at it, let's put up billboards along the whole roadway, there's no real view of the thing anyway and I need to know about the latest Chrysler Sedan and who's playing at the Reno Flamingo this weekend.
This surely beats paying more money to ride across that coned off monstrosity.
Of course, the kids I'm sure will be against the creepy crawly American corporate spirit. I remember when they were talking about helping to pay for the Oakland Airport upgrades by selling billboards along the entry road there and every jerkoff they let on the news that night were "offended by the thought of HAVING TO READ THOSE ADS" and wonder "Where will the COMMERCIALISM END? IT ENDS RIGHT HERE." Meanwhile, these same kids can't figure out why they have to raise the tolls on the bridge. OH MY GOD $4! Why doesn't the bridge just fix itself? Why do we have to pay for it?
You don't!
Start taking naming rights on the bridge now Caltrans! And who knows, maybe the JUICY FRUIT BAY BRIDGE will give out free samples at those toll booths.
posted by KORB! at 5:46 PM
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