Friday, January 25, 2008

2008 is the new 1999

Although it is a new year, it sure feels like an old year as far as one of the "big" news stories.
Remember back in 1999, when an awesome movie called "The Blair Witch Project"came out. The first week was talk of the "the little indie that could" and box office receipts, then starting in week 2, every news organization started running stories about how the movie was making people sick and those with weak stomach should stay away, not from the scares but the camerawork. (It was shaky and handheld)
Look what i found in the Boston GLobe.
and Fox News reported it too...
Don't worry, the Philadelphia Inquirer warned their readers of it too.
The new scourge of the movie going world and purveyor of endless warnings from our media protectors is of course "Cloverfield".
From the Globe article:

Erika Hasegawa, 32, was watching "Cloverfield" at a theater in the Los Angeles-area community of Alhambra Tuesday night but had to leave in the middle of the film.
"I'm really nauseous right now - just hold on for a second," she said, before walking down the hall and retching in a trash can.
"I wish I could get my money back," she said.

Did you see the trailer before you trekked out to the movie.
Did you see the shaky camera work in the commercial.
Are you a pussy?
Oh wait, some experts chimed in, also in the Globe article:

Some experts were not surprised, given the film's use of hand-held cameras that were jerked around to boost suspense....Experts suggest those who feel motion sickness try to stare at a fixed point that doesn't appear to move, such as the head of someone sitting in front of you in a theater or at a nearby seat. Dramamine, a medication taken to relieve nausea, might also help.

Can I get a large Sprite and a medium popcorn, with Dramamine.

A minute of reason within the warnings, again from the Globe article:

Some movie chains stressed that the vast majority of viewers felt fine watching the movie.

But to make sure that no pussies are hurt during the movie:

Nonetheless, Kansas City-based AMC Theatres placed caution signs in hundreds of its theaters nationwide warning about possible motion sickness issues.

But I think what bothers me so much in this further evidence of the pussification of America is that when filmmakers and musicians and artists go even the slightest outside of the norm, we must be warned. Further, what concerns me even more is that I haven't been warned about the shaky videos posted by shitheads on YouTube. There is all kinds of handheld, shaky cam, poorly lit media all over this site and not a single warning to take Dramamine before hand.

You guys are slipping.

And to take this even further, how many of the people who complained about being nauseated by this movie have posted crap on YouTube shot without a tripod. How many have submitted videos of their friends riding a skateboard with a jittery lensing up until that moment they jam their nuts on a pole and the camera violently rocks away and then we see them running.

You guys are the ones I want my money back from.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Stuff of the Year 2007

Movie of the Year:
No Country For Old Men
Hon Mention:
Eastern Promises

TV Show of the Year:
The Wire
Hon. Mention:
The Shield
How I Met Your Mother

Album of the Year:
Weekend in the City: Bloc Party
Hon. Mention:
Four on the Floor: Juliette and the Licks
Black and White Album: The Hives

Most Annoying Word of the Year:
Thrive (stop it everyone, especially in your advertising)

Best Soundbite of the Year:
"Don't Tase Me Bro"

Worst Dude of the Year:
The "Don't Tase Me Bro" Guy

Pop Song of the Year:
Tambourine: Eve
U + UR Hand: Pink
I Still Remember: Bloc Party
Coffee Shop: Yung Joc
Never Again: Kelly Clarkson

I Still Remember: Bloc Party